Today marks 4 years since Mama Jolie died. Holy hell, does time fly.
Over the years, December has become my favorite month: obviously, there’s Christmas, but there’s also my little brother P.’s birthday, as well as Papa Jolie’s birthday (which happens to be Christmas Eve, too). And then, there’s December 14th, which will now always be my mother’s day, much more profoundly than her birthday or that random Hallmark holiday in May. After my mother died in 2008, I couldn’t get a flight home to LAX, so I flew instead to Ontario, California a couple of hours away and drove like a bat out of hell, tears streaming down my face as Christmas music played on the radio. It would be my first Christmas without her. I was sad.
One of the saddest Christmas songs ever is also, in my opinion, the most beautiful: Judy Garland‘s rendition of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” from Meet Me in St. Louis. The line: “Someday soon we all will be together, if the fates allow. Until then, we’ll have to muddle through somehow,” is a sucker-punch right in the gut every single time. Entertainment Weekly did a great article about the different versions of the song a few years ago–including the original downer and the popular Frank Sinatra edit–which makes a good read if you’re looking for a little procrastination. (Chris Williams writes: “And the song’s fascinatingly tangled history has left it with several very different sets of lyrics, from the near-suicidal to the downright ebullient.”)
Speaking of Mama Jolie, a few days ago I had a reading with medium Thomas John, who’s done Jennifer Lopez, Courteney Cox, and a whole host of celebrities and has a website with predictions here. Mama Jolie loved psychics, and while I’ve distanced myself from that world for a variety of reasons, my curiosity got the better of me and I couldn’t help making the appointment when the opportunity arose. Thomas totally blew me away with his predictions and assessments (fingers crossed for a 2013 full of travel and finally selling and completing my book!), but what most struck me was his response when I asked about my mother.
He concentrated, trying to pick up a read and then said (paraphrasing here), “She’s no longer with us…? I’m not feeling her on this earth.”
I confirmed that, yes, Mama Jolie was at that great Sephora in the sky.
He nodded, satisfied, and then continued as he got a read on her, finally saying, “Wow. She’s really talkative! She’s very social, she wants you to know she’s okay. She’s up there, she’s got lots of friends, she’s communicating a lot. She’s doing just fine. She doesn’t worry about you. You’re doing just fine, too.”
I know there are plenty of skeptics who will dismiss it, and that’s cool. But the image of my endlessly chatty, ridiculously outgoing, epically social Mama Jolie chillin’ out there in the universe, gabbing somebody’s ear off over a bottle of white wine: absolutely priceless. Whether it’s even true? Irrelevant.
Sending you love and kisses, Mama, and wanting you to know that, far from muddling through, I am doing just fine!