I woke up to the exciting news that my BFF Kate is pregnant! Wait, what? You mean she doesn’t know who I am? We’re not besties? We probably actually wouldn’t get along in the slightest? Shh. Let me have my delusions.
(Or as one of my actual BFFs said to me this morning: “Take a deep breath, crazy. You don’t actually know her.” I protested that this was really exciting news and a very big deal and she replied, “Maybe she’ll have twins and they will have magical powers. One can cure cancer and the other can fix our fossil fuel problem.” That’s the spirit!)
St. James Palace released the news because Kate is in the hospital suffering from “acute morning sickness,” so hopefully all will be well in babyland and it will be several months of blissful, easy, issue-free pregnancy. Then the little HRH will be born and if you think it was a big deal when Shiloh Jolie-Pitt was born, JUST YOU WAIT.
Okay, so Kate’s pregnant, everybody is freaking out (and by everybody, I mean roughly 75 reporters in New York, LA and London), and you’ve likely heard the news a billion times today. Let’s move on to the next topic at hand: what are they going to name the baby?
Regardless of whether Baby Cambridge is a girl or a boy, Mini HRH is going to inherit the throne, which is a pretty big deal. 2012! Eliminating male-preference primogeniture! Making progress, people!
For some reason, I feel like they’re destined to have a girl, but I have absolutely zero factual basis for this. I do think a Queen would be great for England: after Elizabeth goes to the great throne in the sky, we’ll have two Kings: both Charles and then William. (Any child of theirs probably won’t take the throne until somewhere around 2050 or 2060 anyway, by which time Baby Cambridge will be middle-aged.) Historically, England has flourished under Queens, and methinks that a daughter born of Kate and William would have so much Unicorn Rainbow Sunshine in her blood that the British Empire will surely reconquer the world.
Oh, right. The names. If it’s a girl, they’re reportedly going to make the middle names Elizabeth and Diana. I feel like they’d go old fashioned for the first name and pick an oldie but goodie from the British royal archives: maybe Amelia, Alexandra, Charlotte, Eleanor or, yes, Victoria.
Victoria Elizabeth Diana…it has a regal ring to it, no?
If it’s a boy? I imagine they’ll be straightforward and have the middle names as Charles Michael Philip. The first name is a bit harder, but my guesses are Edward, Nicholas or Robert.
We shall see, eh? Baby Cambridge for the win!