Duchess Kate gives birth to a girl

Introducing the Princess of Cambridge!

It’s a girl! And obviously Baby Princess of Cambridge is the future best friend of Baby Girl Courtney. I mean, they’re practically the same age. (English boarding school, anybody…?)

Princess of Cambridge

As cute as the baby is–cheeks!–there are two things I am more preoccupied by:

What will the name be?

and

HOW THE BLOODY HELL DID DUCHESS KATE LEAVE THE HOSPITAL 9 HOURS AFTER GIVING BIRTH LOOKING LIKE THIS?

Duchess Kate after giving birth

She wore a Jenny Packham dress, her hair was perfectly blown out, her makeup was expertly applied, and you could actually see her skinny little ankles.

I mean, not to get gross, but…nah, actually, I’ve been knee-deep in pregnancy and baby for a year, so I’m GOING TO GET GROSS. She just pushed an 8+ pound baby out of her vagina. Without pain meds. Likely was stitched up. Had the obligatory post-baby poo. Probably had some ice-packs and some adult diapers all up in there.

And then she got a blowout and applied eyeliner?

Seriously. I’m baffled.

Make no mistake, people: being a full-time senior member of the British royal family is a J.O.B. And Duchess Kate works it.

Less gross subject: back to that name!

Prince George and Prince William

My official vote is Alexandra Charlotte Frances. Frances was Diana’s middle name–and Kate’s father’s middle name is Francis–so it would be a way for William to honor his mother without beating the baby (or us) over the head with it. I could maybe see them using Diana as one of the middle names, but it will definitely not be the first name. I’d bet money on that.

(Fast forward to two days from now, when we’re introduced to Her Royal Highness Diana Screw-You-Camilla Di-Di Princess of Cambridge.)

Alice is getting a lot of attention, since apparently Duchess Kate wrote a dissertation on Alice in Wonderland at university. And Charlotte is just as popular with bookies this time as it was last.

Selfishly, I’m hoping that Charlotte isn’t the last name, since Erik and I had hoped to name our theoretical future second daughter Charlotte Elizabeth…and also because my protagonist of Wisteria is named Charlotte. But obvs la Duch isn’t taking my personal desires into consideration, soooo…

What’s funny is there are basically only a handful of “approved” names to choose from. The royal baby is all but guaranteed to be named some combination of the following: Adelaide, Alexandra, Alice, Anne, Augusta, Beatrice, Caroline, Charlotte, Eleanor, Elizabeth, Eugenie, Georgina, Helena, Louise, Margaret, Mary, Rose, Sophie, or Victoria.

Place your bets!

 

 

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5 Comments

  1. Tara

    I’m going to say they’ll upset all the betters by picking something unexpected like Helena or Eleanor or even Louise. Elizabeth and Frances are still likely middles though. ;)
    The blowout and makeup I can see–given the “team” of helpers Kate probably has–but the skinny ankles and high heels!?! WTH!? I still couldn’t get anything but flip flops on for almost a WEEK after my son was born!
    I bet she was walking pretty slowly though. ;)

  2. Tara, that would make me very happy! Helena was initially my pick, but then a few people on my FB page pointed out that it’s Elizabeth Hurley’s fake Queen’s name on The Royals (which I don’t watch, weirdly). I don’t know why, but I have a feeling they pay attention to the public guesses, and I agree with you that something tells me they’re unlikely to follow the masses (which is why I don’t think Charlotte or Alice are going to be the ultimate first-name winner). I like Eleanor a LOT. Louise is pretty, but it’s the name of Prince Edward’s daughter, so my guess is they’ll skip it for a first name.

    She was only in public for just over a minute – enough time to put on a great show in heels, but perhaps the rest of the day, she was hobbling around!

  3. Tara

    So–Charlotte Elizabeth Diana it is, I guess. Lovely name, but I’m kind of sorry they went the predictable route and didn’t surprise everyone with something different. Oh well…maybe for the third one!?
    Sorry she stole your name, btw! :(

Trackbacks

  1. […] As I mentioned yesterday, I was selfishly hoping William and Kate didn’t pick Charlotte: it’s one of my favorite girl names! I named the protagonist in Wisteria Charlotte (by the by, it’s also Pippa’s middle name). And if we were lucky enough to have a second baby girl, she would have been named Charlotte (with her middle name–you guessed it–Elizabeth). […]