I’ve been away for such a long time that I’m not sure if anybody has even missed me.
I spent so many years trying to build up my following and checking in daily, and then the one-two-three punch of the show, having a baby, and getting fired by my blog agent really tripped me up. It was a good thing, and I feel like a happier, healthier, more whole person…but I don’t know how to blog anymore. Or, I should say, I don’t know how to blog with a baby the way I want to blog. The way I used to.
Time was, I could sit down, write a post, tinker with it until I felt happy with the language, edit the thesis, choose some nice photos to upload, play with the size of the photos, finally publish it, share it on social, and then maybe even write ANOTHER post…but those days are (for now) long gone.
I’m ghostwriting a book and should be working on that now, because Aurelia just went down for a nap and the clock is ticking until she wakes back up, and when her naptime is over–that’s it. Fin. My writing time is done for the day. (I could blog at night, of course, except now that time is carved out for my next book project, so, alas, no.) I wrote this post, gave it a read-through, shook my head at the lack of focus, the okay-but-not-life-changing language, had about two minutes of issues with the photos and then said F-it, these photos are JUST FINE AND WILL HAVE TO DO, because I am eating up what free time remains of my precious working hour.
Free time? With a baby? That’s hilarious.
The frustrating thing is that I know I’m pissing off people left and right: friends who feel neglected or who are irritated that plans have been broken because of illness or (lack of) childcare, work colleagues who don’t get why I can’t drop everything for a phone call or reply to that email instantly, and, probably, a few blog readers who used to enjoy reading me and then eventually abandoned me when I stopped posting.
My saving grace? My husband and my daughter get my full attention…(as do my book editor and my writing projects!), and that leaves me feeling whole and content. Everything else, as stressful as it might be if I give it power, is just noise, you know?
2) I’ve been talking to friends a lot recently about How to Write a Book: it seems like so many people feel they have that book inside them, but are nervous about taking the leap or don’t think they can write so many pages.
I totally understand that fear, but I’m here to tell you, you can.
My friend Jordan Reid of Ramshackle Glam just landed her third book deal (congrats, Jordan!), and while clicking through her site reading about the announcement, I came across this older post she wrote with tips on how to write a book proposal. If you’re interested in the publishing process, it’s a great read.
3) Erik, Bunny, and I got a Disneyland annual pass and went the day before yesterday. It was amazing, it was magical, we had the best time ever…until Erik got progressively sicker and sicker and ended up in Urgent Care at 1 am. All’s well now, but it was both scary and (dare I say it?) inconvenient. I wasn’t going to let him go to Urgent Care by himself in the middle of the night, so we had to line up a last-minute overnight sitter for Aurelia (still not sure how we pulled off that one, but thank you LA Sitter!) and it was just generally a shit-show all around.
The three of us have pretty much been sick 24/7 for the past three months, thanks to cold and flu season, and every time I think we’ve got this “living well with a child” thing down pat, another wave of influenza, or norovirus, or World’s Worst Cold, or World’s Worst Cold part 4 comes along to knock us on our asses. (UPDATE: four hours after I posted this, Aurelia started vomiting so…you win, universe!)
I think the general theme (of today’s post…of life in general…) is: hey, we’re doing the best we can!